Two Rivers Ministries

“The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me walk upon mine high places”  ~ Habbakkuk 3:19 (This is a promise.  I see the Lord doing that with me right now.)

“Have I not been brought here to experience some great readjustment in my spiritual nature? (Yes! I can name so many experiences, especially Cairo, where this is the truth)  Instinctively the old nature at once cries out, “Oh, will it be very painful?  Hasn’t there been enough of it already, dear Lord Jesus? (This is truly what comes across my mind!)  And then I laugh.  Shall the clay vessel on the Lord’s wheel and under his loving, molding hands, think of pain in the last stage of a long, joyous yielding to his patient fashioning?  The only thing that matters is that the adjustment of abandonment to selflesss love be made perfectly, so that I stop seeking to be loved and abandon myself to the joy giving love to others.  How beautifully someone has summed this up in the words of an old Quaker lady quoted to me, “Self-sacrifice is the ectasy of giving the best we have to the one we love the most.”  ~ Hinds’ Feet On High Places

from my journal…(this is from a couple weeks ago as i came back from a weekend away from Cairo)

“Coming back to Cairo can be hard when I see it as something against my will.  Right now I cannot deny that I am supposed to be here.  Then, I wonder why it can be so hard.  It is because I see as God’s will and something I must do…BUT, if I want the Lord’s will to be my will, which I do, as it becomes my heart’s desire, may it not feel like such a duty, but a JOY.  It is a sacrifice, but I don’t want it to feel that way.   You have given me JOY to be here, you have given me joy even in sacrifice, may you change the way that I talk about Cairo…As I got out in Paducah to get gas, I saw a whole dead bird behind my car.  Blood was oozing out of it.  Normally, I would not look back, but I did.  As I did, the word SACRIFICE came to mind.  This is what people used to lay at the altar, now Jesus has offered himself in that place.  Then, Romans 12:1 came to mind, “…by the mercies of God(it is by his mercy that we can even do this) to present your bodies as a LIVING SACRIFICE, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship…”  This is the vision you want me to have with sacrifice in my life.  I am to sacrifice myself, my body, my desires AND this is WORSHIP.  This is an expanded understanding of worship that I’ve been seeking.  Worship is more than music or creative expression, it is a heart posture, a giving of oneself for the only one that is worthy.

Yet our Father also says that He desires obedience and not sacrifice.  I see what we would call a SACRIFICE could actually be OBEDIENCE in God’s eyes.  To even be able to sacrifice or act in obedience we need to SURRENDER our desires, our will to our Father who is in control.  This is a place that I come back to often.  Sometimes I wonder how He can be so patient.  I am actually sick of the returning to this place spiritually!  I keep wanting to have control or act as if I do have control over people, my life when Lord it is really all in your hands all along!  Lord, I am ready to act in what I know to be true.  Lord, I want it to be a joy to submit, obey and surrender to you.

These words, SACRIFICE, OBEDIENCE, AND SURRENDER have been rolling around in my mind and heart.  I do not have any rock hard conclusions but only beginnings of comprehension.  Lord, I need your understanding of them.